Viewing entries tagged

The Intermediate Guide to Change

At times it can feel like life is just one big adjustment period.  One thing after another requires our attention and energy. And, most times, it seems that all we're ever doing is adapting and adjusting, rethinking and reconsidering.  You know why? Because we are. 

Because all life is, is change.  Change is all there ever was and it's all that there ever will be. 

But why is change for many of us such a "pain point?"

Mainly because change opens us to a state of "not being in control" and of things not meeting our expectations. 

Taking that on faith then there's really an immutably simple way to manage the "pain point" of change. 

First, realize that not being in control isn't necessarily bad and that not being in control is probably the most normal state of things.  If we can learn to accept the fact that we're not always going to be in control, maybe not being in control would be less painful. Reconciling in our minds that control is a shared resource would help us all a lot. Sometimes we have it and sometimes you don't. 

Second, why don't we give up on expectations?  Expectations are a story that we've told ourselves. It's how we've planned "it" out in our minds.  You know it's true, you've done it, I've done it, we probably did it today. We "walk" through in our mind how our day is going to go, or how the conversation with your boss will play out or,  what our child would tell us about how they see their future playing out.  We had it figured out in advance, we knew exactly how it was "supposed" to go. Only problem is, it didn't go that way did it? It seldom ever does. Deviations from our story are just that. Our story was in the end, only one possible outcome, not the only one. 

If we could learn to view change as opportunity, we might be farther down the road on our own solution. 

So here's the thing.......

Look at change as opportunity and get comfortable with not being in control and not knowing. Learning to live with uncertainty is a necessary part of life. 

 If all there's ever going to be is change, our adaptation to it is central to building toward a stronger future. 

Let's Get Started

Somewhere, amidst all the clutter and confusion, most of it fueled by our innate ability to procrastinate, lies something subtly important; a starting point.  

Of course the bigger question remains, why we don't start things. Especially the things that we know we should start and just can't seem to begin.  

We convince ourselves, I think that the reason that we can't change jobs, or set out on a new career or make a radical change to our diet or overall better health, is that change is hard. We've been told that change is hard almost all of our lives. True we are creatures of habit and habits are hard to break.  But why is that?  If you had little problem learning to smoke, why is "unlearning" to smoke so hard?   Can't you just reverse the process? 


Perhaps, the reason we can't fashion new ways of doing things, or start a new habit is that we're convinced that if we don't start, well then we can't fail.   

The notion of not getting it right is always a better outcome than the notion of "not getting it at all."  

Who Helps Who?

You can't do everything and yet; must do somethings. 

You can't do everything and yet; must do somethings. 

In his blog, "Five Lies Personal Development Gurus Like To Tell You" Mike Bundrant ( hits on a few key points that have a striking resemblance to what some financial advisors tell their clients about what their capabilities are. We on the other hand, are a lot more like Mike, believing that while improvements are possible, they're incremental and built on a base of clarlity and understanding.  Most notably, we agree with Mike's notions, that change is not easy, that it won't come over night and as much as we'd like to say it ain't so, not all things are possible. 

Mike's blog is a word to the wise for personal development devotees, self help gurus, planners and clients of planners alike. 


"5 Lies Personal Development Gurus Like To Tell You"

Screen Shot 2012-01-08 at 11.58.07 AM.png

Clarity Counts

Of all the things that advisors can do for clients, among the most beneficial is clarity. 

How clear are you about what you want? How certain are you that you're on track to get it?

How clear are you about what you want? How certain are you that you're on track to get it?

When we work with others in collaboration and dialogue, we win when we've arrived at clarity. 

As this blog from Leadershipfreak suggests, clarity must come before decisions. And so it is in the planning profession. Without clarity, client's have a hard time finding a space for effective decisions. 

In your life, in the time with your family and friends, as we counsel those around us and as we engage in that persistent conversation with our own self; seek clarity. 

Here's to a great Holiday Season and I hope that you find this blog something to ponder as the New Year approaches. 

15 Potent Strategies for Fighting Confusion