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The Intermediate Guide to Change

At times it can feel like life is just one big adjustment period.  One thing after another requires our attention and energy. And, most times, it seems that all we're ever doing is adapting and adjusting, rethinking and reconsidering.  You know why? Because we are. 

Because all life is, is change.  Change is all there ever was and it's all that there ever will be. 

But why is change for many of us such a "pain point?"

Mainly because change opens us to a state of "not being in control" and of things not meeting our expectations. 

Taking that on faith then there's really an immutably simple way to manage the "pain point" of change. 

First, realize that not being in control isn't necessarily bad and that not being in control is probably the most normal state of things.  If we can learn to accept the fact that we're not always going to be in control, maybe not being in control would be less painful. Reconciling in our minds that control is a shared resource would help us all a lot. Sometimes we have it and sometimes you don't. 

Second, why don't we give up on expectations?  Expectations are a story that we've told ourselves. It's how we've planned "it" out in our minds.  You know it's true, you've done it, I've done it, we probably did it today. We "walk" through in our mind how our day is going to go, or how the conversation with your boss will play out or,  what our child would tell us about how they see their future playing out.  We had it figured out in advance, we knew exactly how it was "supposed" to go. Only problem is, it didn't go that way did it? It seldom ever does. Deviations from our story are just that. Our story was in the end, only one possible outcome, not the only one. 

If we could learn to view change as opportunity, we might be farther down the road on our own solution. 

So here's the thing.......

Look at change as opportunity and get comfortable with not being in control and not knowing. Learning to live with uncertainty is a necessary part of life. 

 If all there's ever going to be is change, our adaptation to it is central to building toward a stronger future. 

The First Step Toward Success Is Defining It.

In his post on Leadership Freak, Dan Rockwell draws some pretty stark comparisions between new beginnings and the wealth management process. I guess that's because the two are so similar. 

"Clarity instills confidence."

Questions are always more powerful than answers. What are your questions?

Questions are always more powerful than answers. What are your questions?

"Are you reacting aginst or reaching forward? Reacting seldom takes you where you want to go."

These are also quotes from Dan's blog post; "10 Questions That Give Vitality To New Beginnings."

As the realm of personal finance has come to grips with the fact that the return on the markets might not always be the thing that takes you where you need to go, they've finally latched on to the two things that can make a difference in financial success or failure, namely; controlling what you spend and planning. 

Every day it seems, more and more articles are written on why it's important to know what your future will cost, if for no other reason than if you don't know you can't ever tell if you've got the money to afford it. 

Most times, clients look at the effort of planning for their future and see the work it might take and it scares them away. What they need to see perhaps is the clarity and confidence. Most times, clients come to me to solve a problem and yet, the conversation is about reaction, not about reaching. 

If you're unwilling to do the work necessary to define success, it would appear to this observer that your chance of stumbling upon it may be harder than you think. 

And later than desired as well. 

The first step toward success will always be defining it. The next one will be measuring it.